some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I got inside last night via doggy door
You are the jesus of drinking
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
