When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
