I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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