New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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