Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
