I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize