wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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