your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize