The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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