Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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