I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
