Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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