Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Randomize