Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
nutella sex= disaster
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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