It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize