hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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