belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
