i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
