i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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