Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
