I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
