Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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