I'm lost and stupid without you.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
