sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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