I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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