I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
