I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
