Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
4 words: hood of his car
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
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Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize