dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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