Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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