there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Text me some of your sweat
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
