so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think my vagina is haunted
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
