batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
