There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I supernannyed him into submission
I love you. Go after that dick
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
