...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
