I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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