This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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