Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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