am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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