you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
