I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
