I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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