It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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