If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
tequila makes me forget i have legs
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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