We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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