Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
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I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
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His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad