dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
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was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
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so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!