3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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