Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.