if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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