just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't deserve a penis
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
