is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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