I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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