Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize