WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
