I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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