dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
