I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
