im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
