As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
