the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
