I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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