took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
