Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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