The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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