have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
